Chris Stout
Chris likes not having any free time. +Chris Stout Email: cstout76@gmail.com
Homepage: http://www.manjr.com
Posts by Chris Stout
Psychic World Cup Predicting Machine Paul the Octopus Dead at Age 2.5
Paul, the psychic Octopus who’s stunning accuracy in picking World Cup games earned him global fame this past summer, died on Tuesday at the tender octopus age of two and a half. Actually, two and half years is a long time for an octopus to live, and Paul lived a life that most cephalopod molluscs only dream of.
Paul the Octopus became an international star after correctly picking all seven of Germany’s 2010 World Cup matches. He also accurately predicted the result of the final. This modern-day Nostradoctopus displayed 100 percent accuracy during the tournament. Paul also correctly picked four of Germany’s six matches in the UEFA Euro 2008 tourney.
Before each Germany match, Paul would be presented with two plastic cases. Each case featured a flag of two competing countries and each case contained a tasty mussel. Whatever plastic box Paul swam to would be the team that prevailed on the pitch. Bitter Germans threatened to eat Paul after he picked Spain to beat Germany in the semi-finals. Paul the Octopus also received death threats after picking Spain to beat the Netherlands in the final.
Rest in peace you crazy psychic Octopus.
Oct 26th
Week 7 NFL Picks
| Pittsburgh -3 At Miami
PICK: Steelers -3 |
San Francisco -3 At Carolina
PICK: Niners -3 |
| At Atlanta -3.5 Cincinnati
PICK: Falcons -3.5 |
At Tampa Bay -3 St. Louis
PICK: Bucs -3 |
| At Kansas City -9.5 Jacksonville
PICK: Chiefs -9.5 |
At Seattle -6.5 Arizona
PICK: Seahawks -6.5 |
| At Tennessee -3 Philadelphia
PICK: Eagles +3 |
At San Diego -3 New England
PICK: Pats +3 |
| At Chicago -3 Washington
PICK: Skins +3 |
At Denver -8.5 Oakland
PICK: Broncos -8.5 |
| At New Orleans -13 Cleveland
PICK: Cleveland +13 |
At Green Bay -2.5 Minnesota
PICK: Packers -2.5 |
| At Baltimore -13 Buffalo
PICK: Ravens -13 |
At Dallas -3 NY Giants
PICK: Giants +3 |
Oct 22nd
Top 25 Bikini Babes of All Time
MANjr created this list of the top 25 bikini babes of all time based on a scientific scale that considered the following factors: bangin’ body, bikini skills, cuteness of face and overall hotness. If you disagree with these picks, let us know where our scientific method went wrong. We probably won’t make any adjustments, but we’ll try to recognize any glaring omissions.
25. Jessica Alba
She’s always going to make the list, even if she doesn’t want to be considered sexy anymore. Sorry Jessica, you have no say in this.
24. Stacy Keibler
Stacy’s got the body to pull off any bikini in any situation. Kieblers was a WWE Diva, Baltimore Ravens cheerleader and a serious dancer (she started training when she was three), so she knows how to put those extra-long legs to good use.
23. Kelly Brook
Kelly Brook is no stranger to bikini work. The buxom Brit began modeling at the age of 16, and she’s appeared in TV, films and top sexy lists ever since. Brook, who won a babe of the summer award this year, even has her own line of swimwear and lingerie going, so you know she belongs on this list.
22. Tyra Banks
It’s hard to remember a time when Tyra Banks wasn’t super annoying. But think back, way back. Think back to guest appearances on the Fresh Prince of Bel Air and all those SI Swimsuit shoots. Remember? Yep, Tyra was hot. She wasn’t constantly calling herself fat and she didn’t have her own talk show. I miss that fly 90s chick who knew how to work a bikini and keep her mouth shut.
21. Shakara Ledard
A relative newcomer to the swimsuit scene, Shakara Ledard has made a big enough splash to hang with the all time greats. This beauty from the Bahamas has appeared in multiple films and music videos for usher, Babyface and Justin Timberlake.
20. Niki Taylor
Dude, remember how hot Niki Taylor was? This foxy chick from Florida started modeling when she was 13. She was a cover girl for a solid decade or so during which she married an Arena Football League linebacker and had twins. Taylor’s only 35 years old, and you know this blonde-haired, hazel-eyed head-turner’s still got it.
19. Stephanie Seymour
Stephanie Seymour was on top of her game in the 90s. The San Diego-native appeared in numerous Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issues. She helped establish Victoria’s Secret mail catalogs as prized postal possessions, and she posed in Playboy in 1991 and 1993. Sadly, this still wasn’t enough to help Seymour survive her wedding to Axel Rose in the November Rain video. Everybody needs somebody, and we all need more Stephanie Seymour.
18. Elle Macpherson
Long legged Aussie beauty Elle MacPherson has been out of the spotlight for awhile, but her gorgeous bikini body still lives on, even at age 47. Total package bikini beauty like that doesn’t fade fast. If you ever find yourself wondering if there’s a Hugh Grant movie out there from the 90s that features a hilarious slow-motion nude running scene with Elle Macpherson, the answer is yes. It’s called Sirens.
17. Selita Ebanks
Cayman Islands native Selita Ebanks was discovered at a Six Flags when she was 17. What kinda crazy job would that be? Hey, before you ride the Ninja, I just wanted to say your gorgeous and I work for a modeling agency. I think I want that job. Ebanks was once engaged to Nick Cannon. As Maria Carey gets more chubby and/or pregnant with each passing day, Cannon can always reminisce about his old Victoria’s Secret fiancé and wonder what might have been.
16. Rachel Hunter
Rachel Hunter had it going on long before Fountains of Wayne reminded the world just how bangin’ she is in that Stacy’s Mom video. And when you look that good for that long, people get over the fact that you married Rod Stewart. I ain’t mad atcha Rachel. Not now and not ever.
15. Jessica Burciaga
SI Swimsuit gal she is not, but that doesn’t mean that Jessica doesn’t belong on this list. Her frequent Twitter profile pic updates and tales of 1000s of bikinis in her closet seal the deal. Miss February 2009 has a unique gorgeousness to her. Jessica’s father is Mexican her mother is French, Irish and German. When you have the chance, please thank Jessica’s parents for creating one amazingly stunning bikini babe.
Oct 22nd
Will Sasso Interview
Canadian-born actor Will Sasso is a funny, funny dude. He stood out as one of the most talented cast members on MADtv for five solid seasons. Sasso’s knack for spot-on impressions and wacky physical comedy made him a fan favorite. Sasso has been acting since 1991, and in addition to his MADtv work, he’s also appeared in numerous films and sitcoms over the years.
Sasso’s newest effort, $#*! My Dad Says, is a CBS comedy that’s based on Justin Halpert’s ultra-entertaining Twitter feed, @shitmydadsays. Justin’s Twitter profile explains it all: “I’m 29. I live with my 74-year-old dad. He is awesome. I just write down shit that he says.” Justin’s profile has over 1.7 million followers and has lead to a blog, a book and now this new sitcom starring William Shatner, Sasso and MADtv vet Nicole Sullivan.
I had a chance to speak with Sasso and we discussed his new show, working with Shatner, reuniting with Sullivan, Katherine Heigl, Jason Priestly and a bunch of other fun topics like his favorite Canadians of all time.
CS: So tell me about your role on the new show Shat My Dad Says or Shit … what do you call it anyway?
WS: It’s called Bleep My Dad Says, if you seen the way it’s written it’s got $#*! My Dad Says and we’re producing that bleep, so yeah it’s going really well (laughs) what do you want to know?
CS: Is Justin Halpert involved in the day to day writing of the show or not so much?
WS: Yeah he’s one of the executive producers and he’s written – I think him and his writing partner Patrick have written I think 3 of the first 8 episodes. Justin is also one of our bosses so he’s very involved in every single script, he’s one of the executive producers along with his writing partner Patrick Schumaker and of course Max Mutchnick and David Kohan are the executive producers who pre-dated Will and Grace so it’s all four of those guys.
CS: That’s cool. So what do you think of the whole Twitter-inspired TV / TV-imitating-web-imitating-life situation?
WS: I think it’s really interesting. For years writers have based their sitcoms and 1 hour dramas – all sorts of stuff on TV actually – on their lives. This is the first time where an audience can actually go back and track it.
CS: Yeah (Laughs).
WS: What has happened and what a writer cares to put in and leave out. I mean you can actually check in with us, if you’re been following the Twitter feed you can see how accurate Ed’s barbs are to Justin’s real father Sam’s barbs and that sort of thing. So I think that really makes it interesting, it really makes it an interesting way to conceive and execute a television show. Sam is still a wealth of material obviously for his son Justin. So yeah that’s definitely coming through in the show and I think it’s interesting from an audience standpoint of what you’re able to do, you’re able to actually go back and see it.
CS: So are you happy to be working with Nicole Sullivan again?
WS: Yeah. Oh yeah, of course yeah I mean that’s kind of a dream come true there because we’re pals and we’ve work together on MadTV starting over a decade ago so yeah that’s kind of … you know it’s familiar in a really great way and it’s just unbelievable. We really do know each other’s rhythms and what the other may do at this point or that point and it’s a lot of fun, it’s a real treat. I kind of can’t believe it sometimes, I kind of pinch myself that I get to do that.
CS: That’s cool. So is William Shatner totally nuts?
WS: You mean totally nuts?
CS: Yeah.
WS: Not totally nuts.
CS: Just a little bit off? (laughs)
WS: Barely actually. You know, it’s funny, I mean here’s a guy that’s been in the business for over 50 years and you’d expect that someone like that would either be maybe not at all interested in the day to day happenings of a show – and 50 years is a very long time obviously, he’s been doing it longer than most of the people in the show have been alive, so you’d expect that, but Bill is a real actor through and through. It’s interesting for a guy like that, but he’s literally about every scene and every line and every word and making sure it’s good and making sure that relationships play and are three-dimensional and that it’s really funny. He was already one of my heroes, but now it’s like he might be my overall showbiz hero. When I’m his age I want to be doing that.
CS: Okay so you do a lot of awesome impressions; you’ve got Steven Segal, Tony Soprano, Randy Newman, Kenny Rodgers, De Niro, even Shatner. I recently saw this Kevin Pollack standup set where he talks about meeting the people he impersonates. Do you have any funny stories about meeting the people you’ve made fun of in the past? Or specifically Shatner, I guess, because you guys are working together now.
WS: You know it’s funny, Bill has never seen my impression of him.
Oct 19th
HARLEM Kruiden Liqueur SHOT Showcase in Vegas
Earlier this month, the MANjr team attended a SHOT Showcase for HARLEM Kruiden Liqueur at the Palms in Las Vegas. Named after Haarlem, a town just outside of Amsterdam, the Dutch liqueur is produced by the Nolet Family, the fine people that make Ketel One Vodka. Haarlem is the town where Carl Nolet Jr.’s grandmother was born. HARLEM is the first product that Nolet has introduced since 1983.
HARLEM is basically a more nuanced, Jager-like liqueur that’s full of subtle herbal and citrus tones. It’s a bit darker and stiffer than Jagermeister (HARLEM is 80 proof, Jager is 70 proof), and it has a fuller, more complex-tasting edge to it. The actual ingredients in HARLEM are a secret, so the blend of aromas and flavors is rather difficult to describe. Kruiden is the term the Dutch use to describe the herbs used to give HARLEM it’s bold and earthy flavor. Meant to be served as an ice cold shot, HARLEM has this orangey root beer bite that kicks the back of your throat and coats your palate with a balanced combo of bitter and sweetness.
The SHOT Showcase, which took place at the Rain Nightclub inside the Palms Casino & Resort in Vegas, was a coming out party for the liqueur. The culmination of a national contest, the Showcase featured bartenders throughout the US who won The HARLEM® Make Your Best Shot Competition. Judged by Tasting Panel Magazine, the competition invited bartenders to create their own custom shots using HARLEM as the main ingredient. The results were quite impressive.
Local bartenders from Chicago, LA, Miami, Vegas, New York, San Francisco and Orange County showed off their winning 2 oz. concoctions to rave reviews. Every bartender brought a unique spin to the liqueur.
Some bartenders played on the sweetness of the shot. Mike Miller and Adam Garvanian from Chicago created two shots, The Red Light and Harlem Night, that accentuated the after-dinner desert quality of the liqueur. The Red Light featured 1 oz. of HARLEM with ¾ oz. Effen Black Cherry Vodka, ¼ oz. Vanilla Flavored Alcoholic Whipped Cream with a cherry on top. The Harlem Night combined HARLEM with equal parts Bailey’s Irish Cream, chocolate liquor and a dash of Goldschlager. This shot was served in a glass rimmed with cinnamon sugar.
Richie Petronzi, a Miami bartender from the Burger N Beer Joint decided to throw bacon in the mix. His Harlem Nights shot included an oz. of ample smoke bacon fat washed HARLEM, ½ oz. fresh pressed apple juice, ¼ oz. fresh lemon juice and ¼ oz. grade-A maple syrup. This hearty shot was served with fresh tarragon and a slice of honey smoked bacon.
Phoenix-based Andrew Record from Hacienda del Sol decided to play up the zesty citrus quality of the liqueur. His HARLEM Renaissance shot included lemon cello, rosemary-infused simple syrup, fresh lemon juice, soda water and a thin orange zest garnish.
Another Phoenix winner, Gail Riley from My Ole Man’s, played on the liqueur’s fruity flavors. Her shot, Harlem Rage, combined vanilla vodka, raspberry vodka, pineapple juice and cranberry juice with the Dutch liqueur.
My favorite shot came from LA bartender Justin Long from First and Hope and STK. Long’s Harlem Express combined 1 oz. of HARLEM with ¾ oz. chilled espresso, ¼ oz. vanilla syrup and ¼ oz. cream. Served in a mini-Guinness-pint shotglass, Long’s HARLEM Express was a creamy, fluffy coffee treat with a kick.
From sweet to fruity to bacon to coffee, each bartender’s take on HARLEM was worthy of being showcased. Each shot enhanced a different undertone or highlighted a distinct flavor. HARLEM shots are going to be a staple at the Rain Nightclub from now on. The club announced the opening of the new HARLEM Kruiden Liqueur VIP room this week. Visitors to Rain can enjoy shots of HARLEM in this lavishly furnished VIP room that’s decorated with Kristall chandeliers, massive horizontal mirrors, black carpet, and bold red paint. Framed by bright LED lights, the new VIP room will be easy to spot, even inside the 25,000-sq. ft. of club Rain. The HARLEM Kruiden Liqueur VIP room at Rain will serve the brand’s signature drink, The Slamsterdam, along with a variety of other cocktails made exclusively for HARLEM.
All-in-all it was a great Vegas trip. We met a bunch of cool people from Manolith, Complex Magazine, Thirsty in LA, Bourbon Blog, Imbiber and Liquor Snob, and we got to sample some tasty shots and experience Sin City in style. A big thanks to all the bartenders who participated in the Showcase. Everyone enjoyed the good times.
Oct 19th
Week 6 NFL Picks
| San Diego -8 At St. Louis PICK: Chargers -8 |
At Green Bay -3 Miami PICK: Packers -3 |
| At Houston -4.5 Kansas City PICK: Chiefs +4.5 |
At Pittsburgh -13.5 Cleveland PICK: Steelers -13.5 |
| At New England -2.5 Baltimore PICK: Patriots -2.5 |
NY Jets -3 At Denver PICK: Jets -3 |
| New Orleans -4 At Tampa Bay PICK: Saints -4 |
At San Francisco -6.5 Oakland PICK: Raiders +6.5 |
| At Philadelphia -2.5 Atlanta PICK: Falcons +2.5 |
At Minnesota -1.5 Dallas PICK: Vikings -1.5 |
| At NY Giants -10 Detroit PICK: Lions +10 |
Indianapolis -3 At Washington PICK: Colts -3 |
| At Chicago -6.5 Seattle PICK: Bears -6.5 |
Tennessee -3 At Jacksonville PICK: Titans -3 |
Oct 17th
Review – Ahnu Hiking Shoes
I recently received a pair of Ahnu hiking shoes, and I gotta say, they’re pretty comfy. I consider myself more of a couch-potato than an outdoorsy type, but I decided to give my pair of Ahnu Men’s Moraga Mesh shoes a proper test drive. So I went for a quick hike in some drizzly weather conditions.
The shoes fit comfortably – not too tight, not too loose. My hike was by no means extreme, but I did hit some rocky-wet terrain. The shoes breathed well, but didn’t let any puddle splatter in, which was great. No overheating and no exposure to the elements, which was a nice balance.
The bottom sole is both firm and flexible, allowing for stable foot placement that wasn’t too rigid and still left me with good range of motion. The bottom traction action is the best part about these shoes. Even in slippery conditions I was able to get solid foot planting while hiking in the hills. If I was sporting my usual pair of Sauconys, I would’ve been treading super lightly, but the grip action of the bottom sole let me hike at a brisk pace without any fear of skids or slippage.
It also helps that these shoes look cool. Most hiking shoes look like paramilitary accessories, but I’d wear these things with some jeans and not even think twice about it. The back hoop makes for quick entry into these shoes too, so whenever I need some quality walking or hiking kicks, I can slap these guys on real quick.
Again, I’m not a super all-terrain type guy, but the Ahnu hiking shoes might make me rethink that. It’s nice to get out and about and conquer some nature, even in small doses. The balance, fit, appearance and traction on slickness certainly make these kicks a worthwhile addition to your closet.
Check out the Ahnu website to see more examples of outdoor shoes that provide comfort and support for a variety of outdoor activities.
Oct 15th
21 Random People You’ll See in Vegas
Whenever you’re in Vegas, you come across some interesting people. There’s the stereotypical loud types, super drunk types, drop dead gorgeous types and so on, but there’s also a bunch of other random characters that you’ll encounter when you’re in Sin City. Here’s 21 random people you’ll see in Vegas:
The Old Asian Dude Who Knows Dice Control and Can Win You Bank at the Craps Table
If you like craps, find the table with the four-foot Asian dude with the glasses and the slouch. If you see him setting the dice as he picks ‘em up, camp out at that table and just enjoy your winnings. When he leaves, you need to leave too.
Aggressive Mechanical Wheelchair Guy
Dude, I’m trying to get out of your way but you need to slow down on those turns, buddy. I know you got a disability and all, but that doesn’t give you the right to mow people down with your high-speed bulldozer-chair.
The Chick with the Bad Boob Job
Wait a minute, there’s something wrong with those basketballs bolted on your chest. They might look good from afar, but when you get too close, the cross-eyed nipples start staring at you in opposite directions. Big boobs look great and all, but those south-by-northeast nips just ain’t right.
Pornstar Asian Chicks
Wait a minute, that super-stacked, blond-haired blue-eyed shorty isn’t a white girl? Nope, she’s one of those pornstar Asian chicks. These down-to-get-down Tila Tequilla-types never travel alone. There’s always at least seven or eight of ‘em. You’ll know their coming when you hear the click-clack-shuffle of massive heels being dragged on the marble floor at the Venetian.
The Pool Prowler
Young kids who go to Vegas don’t even have a gambling agenda. They just want to live the Jersey Shore dream with a $1500 poolside cabana complete with vodka bottle service and your choice of mixer. Tanned dudes flex their six-backs and big-breasted 90-pound birds showcase more T&A than you’ll see at strip clubs that serve booze. In this environment, you’ll always find that Creepy McCreepster guy who’s too old and filthy-looking to be hanging around the pool. He’s probably not even lookin’ for action. He’s just categorizing images for his spank bank and hoping to see a nipple slip when some blondie’s using a towel to remove wetness from her pink string bikini.
The Bald Guy with the Fanny Pack
Look man, I know you’re on vacation and I know you have a ton of shit to carry, but the tucked-in t-shit and shorts with a fanny pack and comfortable running shoes just sends out a rob me signal to the entire world. Man up, put some pants on, store stuff in your pockets and tell your nagging wife to shut the hell up.
The Explosive Shitter in the Bathroom
I don’t know if it’s the beer-shits or the buffet-shits or some killer combo of the two, but you can’t visit a casino bathroom without hearing some sort of crazy asstastrophe going on. Dude, can I get a courtesy flush on that butt-shrapnel?
The Girl Who’s Just Not Hot Enough
Vegas makes you horny. Maybe it’s the booze or the pros or all the titties on display, but when you’re in Vegas, you start to think that anyone’s shaggable. Well, almost everyone. There’s always that girl who’s just not hot enough. Maybe she’s got a poor face-to-body or body-to-face grade. Maybe’s she’s just a little too chunky or too crazy. Whatever it is, you’ll always find a chick on the bubble who just misses the cutoff, even when you’re blasted and seeing double.
The Old Local Lifer with the WTF Haircut
Oh man, Vegas locals are a trip. They got their funny t-shirts and physical deformities (like a neck barnacle or an extra back or some shit). A majority of these locals have the most ridiculous haircuts you’ve ever see. Like the lady with the 5-2 step-mullet-fade that’s half highlighted and half spikey. Strange.
The Dude Who Just Got Out of Jail and Needs Money
If some shady white dude with neck tats tries to chat you up at the slots, don’t engage. The dude just got out of jail and he needs money to get back home. He was put in jail because of a long story involving his girlfriend, a crowbar and peanut butter. Don’t offer him a ride and don’t give him any money.
Raider Fans
Raider fans are everywhere, especially in Vegas. Raider fans have the dumbest football IQ of any fan group. These guys yell stupid shit at the Sportsbook to cheer their team on even when the Raiders aren’t playing. They always think the Raiders are going to win, and a couple times each year, they’re right.
Fat Chicks Who Travel in Packs
With all the amazing tail on display in Vegas, chubby girls have it rough. They need to stick together. When was the last time you saw one fat girl by herself in a casino? It doesn’t happen. Large girls know they need to travel in packs to minimize their maximum exposure.
Drunken Business Bros
We’re at a conference bro! I’m gonna get so wasted that I may even untuck my shirt at 3am. No promises though! Let’s high-five and yell whenever we double down or split 8s at the blackjack table. I can’t believe you didn’t hook up with Kimberly from marketing, bro. She was so into you!
Three Greasy Hipster Dudes with One Grimy Skinny Chick
Hipsters travel in disproportionate girl-to-guy ratios. Typically you’ll see three flanneled ironic-facial haired PBR drinkers to every one bright-plastic-eyeglass-wearing pale and depressed looking skinny gal with satirical high tops and a haircut from the future. I don’t know why this is.
Old Oxygen Tank Guy
Look, I’m no doctor, but if you’re wheeling around an oxygen tank in a smoke filled slot pit, maybe you need to find another spot to spend your Tuesday afternoons. I know they pump extra oxygen in the casino, but that’s gotta be offset by the cancer cave-like conditions near the Wheel of Fortune games.
Prostitute?
Wait is this smoking hot broad laughing at my jokes because it’s 5am and we’re the only two people left at the bar? Or is my bankroll about to take a surprise hit from a professional lady of the night? It’s really hard to tell sometimes. Girls in Vegas like to go extra slutty with it. If you’re unsure whether or not the hot chick you hit it off with is a pro, don’t ask her. That’s just bad form. If for some reason she’s not, you’re gonna blow it. Concoct a story of lost wealth so she knows you got nothing left to spend for the evening. If she is a professional, she’ll move on.
The Dapper Old Dude with Cut Up Plastic Jailbait
Nothing’s creeper than seeing some slick old-timer with huge shades, a fitted burgundy suit and gold chains walking around with a 17-year old brunette who just got done with her 17th augmentation surgery.
Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties
There’s nothing funnier than a large group of horny bachelor party dudes who can’t get into a club ‘cause there’s not one chick among them. Well, that’s not true. Seeing a wild back of bachelorette party girls who are walking around with hungry eyes and dildos and goofy matching t-shirts is also pretty entertaining.
The Cheapskate
You know, the guy who camps out at the buffet so he can catch the breakfast and the lunch rotation. Or the guy who lingers around the slots to get a free drink and then doesn’t tip the waitress. In Vegas, cheap bastards are everywhere. You can spot them by their shifty eyes and willingness to fake gamble for long periods of time just to score a Bud Light.
Wedding Party Girls Looking for Action
Nothing’s more romantic than getting married in Vegas. It’s every girl’s dream, really. Well, maybe not every girl, but girls who are around other girls who just got married want to get down something fierce. That’s a fact. If you see a pack of casino skirts who look like they’re going to church, you know what to do.
Sad Children
Vegas is so much fun for adults. Things get tricky when you bring the kids, though. Sure there are responsible parents who just love spending family time together watching those outrageous blue man guys do their outrageous blue man thing, but most of the time, if you see kids at a casino in Vegas, they look sad as hell. There’s only so much TV you can watch when mom and dad are burning through your college tuition during a 13-hour slot bender. Don’t park junior at the buffet. Leave the kids at home.
Oct 15th
Balvenie 14 Year Old Caribbean Cask – LA Launch Celebration
Last week, the MANjr team attended the LA launch of Balvenie’s 14 Year Old Caribbean Cask, an extra smooth single malt scotch that starts it’s life in a whisky barrel and finishes up in a golden Caribbean rum cask. The Cuban/Carribean-themed tasting event took place at La Descarga, a nifty bar that gives you a taste of old Havana in Hollywood.
The entrance to the venue set the tone for the night. After climbing up some stairs you walk into a plain-looking office room and are greeted by a host. The host then opens up a cabinet door and instructs you to enter. After you push aside some Hawaiian shirts you see a metallic spiral staircase in front of you that descends into a chill bar/lounge with an intimate speakeasy vibe.
A special Caribbean-inspired cocktail menu was prepared that featured five different scotch concoctions:
- Stirred Up Scotsman
- Wembley Sour
- Caribbean Swizzle
- Blood and Sand
- Caribbean Handcraft Punch
After sampling the light and breezy Stirred Up Scotsman, I shifted my attention to the Blood and Sand. I sipped quite a few drinks that night (including the frothy, egg-white powered Wembley Sour), but this cocktail was by far my favorite.
A quick journey to the back of the bar revealed a walkway to a much appreciated, semi-outdoor cigar lounge where the awesome Aussie bartender was serving up single-malt tasters of multiple Balvenie bottles. The Balvenie Caribbean Cask was a smooth vehicle, but I enjoyed the entire Balvenie fleet.
After knocking back a few drinks, it was time to grab a snack. The event was catered by a fantastic Cuban food truck. Café Con Leche had great coffee, delicious sandwiches and they even incorporated the Caribbean Cask action into some custom sauces that totally completed the sandwich.
The quality scotch and savory Cuban food were both big hits, but the highlight of the night was the 5-minute presentation by Nicholas Pollacchi, the Balvenie Ambassador. I’ve been to scotch tastings before where the ambassador of the spirit lays it down real thick. Like you really have a palette sophisticated enough to identify 35 different complimentary combinations of aromatic mixological madness. Pollacchi’s approach was much better. A quick, light-hearted presentation on the spirit followed by a tasting that let the scotch speak for itself. As Nicholas put it, he’s not a big fan of highlighting the taste of “children playing in daffodils” or quality ingredients “picked by left-handed people.” He lets the spirit do the talking. It was an efficient and entertaining showcase that allowed the taste of the Caribbean Cask to take center stage.
Oct 13th
