Hamburger Teriyaki Milkshake
Hamburger and a milkshake? Sure, why not. Teriyaki hamburger? Maybe. Hamburger Teriyaki Milshake? Get the hell outta here. That’s just wrong, son.
Image via Steve McQuaide
Jul 27th
The World Cow Fart Problem
Did you even know we had a cow fart problem? We’ve really effed things up when reducing cow flatulence becomes a priority in the fight against global warming. Our large-scale agriculture industry, which has been booming since the mid-20th century due to our genius at making things convenient for ourselves, is responsible for 14 percent of the world’s greenhouse gases. A significant portion of those emissions comes from methane, a gas which is 23 times more powerful than carbon dioxide in terms of contribution to global warming.
So methane is bad, but where do cows fit into this scenario? Apparently, cows emit a massive amount of methane through farting, but even more so through belching. Some experts say that cows pass about 132 gallons of methane a day which is comparable to the pollution produced by 1 car each day. Is this friggin’ ridiculous or what? Well it’s not. The massive farting and belching is a big problem and big business needs to find a way to fix it.
There are 1.5 billion cows in the world and billions more of other grazing animals that emit methane like goats and sheep. These animals are classified as ruminants which means they’re a certain type of animal that have 4 stomachs and digest their food in their stomachs rather than in their intestines, like we humans do. Stomachs of ruminant animals are filled with bacteria that help them digest food but also produce that dang methane gas.
Here’s the kicker, we humans made this methane cow farting/belching problem by trying to be efficient. Big farming business consolidated thousands of cows into a few acreages. Cows graze on a variety of grasses and flowers that would normally be found in the pastures, but because feeding needed to be more efficient, pastures were reseeded with perennial ryegrass which grows quickly and in large amounts. The problem with ryegrass is that it’s the ‘fast food’ of grass, meaning it ain’t that nutritious and it’s hard to digest, thus creating our methane fart problem.
Now we’re trying to come up with solutions to curb the farts like giving cows methane-reducing pills, feeding them garlic, trapping the gas and selling it back to the electrical grid, and more. I’m just a feeble-minded consumer and not a scientist working for big business, but I’d like to propose a solution that has been helpful to me in my own experiences with gaseous emmissions. Say I eat my late-night fourth meal and get the stinkfarts (yes, Taco Bell, I’m talking to you). I’ve noticed that I greatly reduce my stinkfarts by NOT EATING THE THING WHICH CAUSES THE PROBLEM IN THE FIRST PLACE! It’s that simple. Give these cows the good grass they deserve.
We all know this probably won’t happen. It’s likely too expensive and too inefficient for these big businesses to switch back to natural, healthy-for-the-cows-grass. Sad to say, but looks like we made our cow-pie and now we have to lie in it.
Photo via: Greenopolis and Treehumper
Jul 26th
Glenn Beck Calls Brian Urlacher a Neo-Nazi
As if we needed more evidence to support the notion that Glenn Beck is a supreme douche of the highest order, here’s a video of Beck flippantly calling Chicago Bears linebacker Brian Urlacher a neo-Nazi on his show. Nice move. Stay classy, GB.
Jul 23rd
Top 5 Clutch New York Yankees of the Modern Era
For die-hard New York Yankees fans the world over, trying to put a list like this together is a ridiculous task. What the heck are you supposed to do? It’s the stuff of nightmares, to be honest. What about this guy, what about that guy, better change up the list version, add another modifier, etc. Nightmares, I tell you. So — here was my list of solutions: narrow it down to the modern era. Like that’s gonna’ help much at all. Oh well. Second, don’t make it about hitting or pitching or Gold Gloves or All Star nominations, etc. Make it about clutch players, the whole diamond over. Still, this is by no means a small feat.
Here’s my list of a few top Yankees, all playing in the modern era, all doing what they do to contribute in the clutch moments of the game, the season, the Series. That means biggest saves of all time. That means multiple home runs in the post season. That means home run records and super high RBI production. That means bottom of the ninth walk off hits like we Yankees fans have come to depend on. So here goes; Top 5 Clutch Yankees.
5) Reggie Jackson
The ego and brazen nature of the icon who is known as Reggie Jackson was not always a Yankee, no. We know this. And yet, you’d be hard pressed to try not including him in a list of this nature. Flash back: 1977 is the year. It’s October, a month for which this man was ultimately nicknamed. And why? Well, figure it out. If it’s hard enough to hit a tiny little ball coming at you from close range at nearly 100mph, then try to up the ante and do it when the entire title is on the line. That’s what he’s known for. Three home runs in a single game of the World Series? Notches in the belt also include 5 World Series titles, inclusive career-wise (two Yankees in that list), fourteen All Star game appearances and a spot at lucky number 13 on the all-time home run leader list, with 563 homers.
4) Mariano Rivera
Don’t argue. Like a dog, I will tell you to go and lay down in your bed if you choose to argue. This is the single greatest closer in all of baseball, perhaps in all of the history of the game of baseball. Sure, they rack up stats that count to some people, saves, strikeouts, memories. Whatever. You want offense. You want twenty-plus wins a season. That’s what you want to see to make a Top 5 Yankees list? Well this is clutch play, and there is perhaps no one of greater value to a team than their closer. And this is the Yankees closer for more than a decade. And astronaut alien grizzly bears using the state of Rhode Island as a baseball bat can’t hit the guy, so go lay down. Four World Series and the lowest ERA in the post season, ever.
3) Whitey Ford
This is weird, but running down the statistics I don’t see how to not include the guy. Here’s his rap sheet, and you can argue this one amongst yourselves or in the comments of the post: Hall of Fame Inductee 1974, full career with Yanks, six World Series under the belt, Cy Young in ‘61, World Series MVP in ‘61, Babe Ruth Award in ‘61, retired jersey, ten All Star game appearances.
2) Mickey Mantle
Some of the longest home runs ever hit in the history of the game. Seriously. All Star game appearances in nearly every one of his eighteen total seasons. Seven World Series titles and eighteen total homers in those appearances. Three MVP awards in the American League, and a Triple Crown distinction as well. Retired jersey. Major League Baseball All Century Team, people. Check it.
1) Joe DiMaggio
Entire career played as a Yankee, which gets big points. Any contribution made during his career, was laced up with pinstripes. Multiple MVP awards for the American League. But that doesn’t do any justice to the history making efforts of DiMaggio. Maybe you’re reading this and you won’t know what The Streak is. Hell, I’m too young too, but I know. You try doing anything 56 times in a row, in any organized sport. And try doing it with the thing being thrown at you. Unbroken record, people. There are few sports feats in existence that have that as a caveat. 56 games in a row with a hit. Yikes.
(Image Via: On the Buzzer)
Jul 23rd
Robot Jox Movie Trailer
For no reason whatsoever, it’s time for you to watch this amazing trailer. This film’s a classic…
Jul 22nd
Drunk Talk – Review and Interview with Lance Whinery
I recently saw the play Drunk Talk at the Dragonfly in Hollywood, and I got to say, it was pretty clever stuff. As soon as you walk in, you know you’re in for a different theater experience. The place is setup like a regular bar — McSwiggins — complete with bartenders serving drinks and what looked to be some drunks lounging on bar stools. Tables and chairs were set up facing the bar and people were just hanging out, waiting for the show to start.
As I stood at the bar, ordered some Scotch and waited for a seat, an old chatty dude in a Hawaiian shirt asked me if I knew what this thing was all about. He said he knew the bartender and he could get me hooked up. I smiled, told him I didn’t know much about what to expect and said no thank you to his drink offer.
Once everyone took their seats, the play started unfolding. The cocktail waitress at the bar continued to serve drinks throughout the show, but the bartender who served me my Scotch was actually Steve Sears, the actor who plays the Bartender and the old drunk guy was already-in-character Bruce Schroffel, who plays Earl, the old timer, loud-mouth regular drunk that you see in every bar.
As the show started, I thought this whole setup was pretty cool. Rather than being detached from the stage action, the audience felt like they were actual participants in the play. Cute girls in the front would get a surprise hand on the shoulder from Earl. Everyone was instructed to salute and drink whenever any character mentioned the word McSwiggins. At one point the cast members even passed out shots to everyone in attendance. A lively, interactive time was had by all.
The whole play was written as an outrageous, farcical comedy. Regulars at a bar lament over the fact that their beloved drinking hole is going to be shut down. Drunk talk ensues. Tobias Jelinek, who played Joe, was a total scene stealer. I also really liked the Mayor, played by Kim Estes. The entire cast pulled it all off, let everyone in on the action and made sure that everyone had a good time. You can’t really ask for more.
Jul 22nd
