I wish to image sororities while the places that university females stage elaborately decorated mixers then spend remaining month gouging aside for each and every other people’s attention. And the good news is, new exceptional email you may be planning to comprehend demonstrates each one of my personal theories correct. Off reader Erik: “It is regarding School off Maryland. Frequently, this can be regarding chair from an excellent ‘lower level, really shameful sorority’ that’s been matched that have a great ‘pretty good frat’ to own Greek Week.”

For folks who simply open it for example We said so you can, link on your own as a result of any type of settee you might be resting when you look at the, because this current email address is going to be a harsh screwing trip.

For people that have their heads trapped under rocks, and this appear to ’s the almost all so it section, our company is Fucking Up with regards to night time situations and you will standard societal connections which have Sigma Nu. I have already been taking texts on the messages regarding people Actually getting therefore fucking Awkward and therefore banging Fantastically dull. While you are reading this article nowadays and you will saying to help you your self “But oh em gee [first name redacted], I have already been that have such enjoyable with my siblings this week!”, next punch oneself throughout the face nowadays to ensure that We won’t need to banging come across your for the university to do it myself.

You have got 361 months from the screwing season to speak to help you siblings, and this day isn’t, We screwing recite Not one of them. Newsflash you foolish dicks: FRATS Don’t like Fantastically dull SORORITIES. Oh hold off, Double Banging NEWSFLASH: SIGMA NU Won’t Want to Hang out With United states If we Screwing Suck, and this incidentally but if you might be a keen idiot and require it spelled out to you, We Banging Draw To date.

I do not provide a flying bang, and you will Sigma Nu cannot promote a traveling bang, regarding how far your banging desire talk to your sisters

This also applies to you nothing shits having talked publicly regarding blog post gaming from the a different sort of frat Facing SIGMA NU BROTHERS. Could you be someone fucking retarded? That isn’t a great rhetorical matter, We Literally want you so you can email address me personally back advising myself if the you happen to be psychologically slow so i helps make sure you never wade so you can any longer night time occurrences. When the Sigma Nu openly said “Yeah we have been planning to invite Zeta more than”, could you feel happy? Do you really? Zero you wouldn’t, so why Brand new Fuck Do you Exercise On it?? Facing Him or her. Firstly, do not be post gaming in the almost every other frats, Really don’t offer a bang in the event the sweetheart is within they, in the event the brother is in they, or if perhaps all of your current relatives is during you to frat. You never Go. You. Don’t. Go. And you Particularly do fucking Maybe not persuade almost every other women to exit to you.

“However, [first name redacted]!”, you state when you look at the a great whiny absolutely nothing bitch voice into the computers display screen since you check this out email, “I have been cheering towards our very own organizations after all the newest football, does not you to amount getting anything?” No Your Foolish Banging Butt Caps, It Screwing Will not. Might you Wish Learn Banging As to the reasons. It will not Matter Given that You’ve been Banging Upwards At SOBER Fucking Situations Too. I have besides acquired messages about anyone being screwing Odd during the football (like, getting foolish shits and you can claiming stuff like “durr what is actually kickball?” isn’t screwing funny), however, I’ve received messages regarding anyone in fact cheering on the other cluster. The new opposing. Screwing. Party. Could you be Screwing Foolish. I really don’t render a shit from the sportsmanship, Your Perk In regards to our GODDAMN Team And not The other You to, Have you ever Never been In order to A recreations Game? Are you currently Fucking BLIND? Or could you be only therefore banging thick on which it indicates while making somebody as if you that you believe being an excellent absolutely nothing recommend of your Greek community makes all of our matchup happy? Well it’s time anybody told you, No one Screwing Likes You to definitely, Specifically Our very own Banging MATCHUP. I will banging vagina punt the second person I learn about doing things by doing this, and i also dont bring a bang for folks who SOR myself, I will Screwing Physical violence Your.

“Ohhh, I am now sobbing because your email makes myself oh thus thus unfortunate”. Better a great. If it email applies to your at all, definition when you find yourself a tiny asswipe one really stands regarding the edges in the evening or if perhaps you happen to be an unusual shit you to does strange crap throughout the day, which pursuing the content is actually for your:

This week is approximately cultivating relationship about Greek people, and that’s perhaps not fucking you can easily if you’re likely to remain up to and you will communicate with each other rather than our matchup

I’m not fucking joking. Don’t wade. Positively, when you yourself have done One thing You will find mentioned within email address and involve some rare problem where you are not able to Perhaps not perform these types of something, then you’re Awful, I repeat, Terrible Pr For this Part. I might go for forty lady which can be enjoyable, communicate with men, and never fucking embarrassing than just 80 that are fucking faggots. When you’re among somebody that has informed me “Oh nooo boo hoo I can’t correspond with men I am also sober”, however disco profile examples pity you while the I’m not sure how you had so it much in daily life, and understanding that in your mind you should never screwing appear unless you are browsing end are an effective goddamn cock cut-off for the part. Surely. We swear to screwing Goodness easily select some body becoming an effective goddamn boner in the tonight’s enjoy, I will tell you straight to get off even in the event you happen to be sober. I am not saying even kidding. Are me personally.

And those of you who’re offended at that email address, I would personally apologize however, Really don’t give a fuck. Go shag oneself.

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