Are Martians Going After Blake Griffin?
The NBA offseason can be very quiet at times. Even after the draft there may be only whispers of blockbuster trades. It looks like this offseason won’t be that calm. Apparently Martians are targeting Blake Griffin. Well I should say Martian. Marvin, the famous extraterrestrial from Mars wants Blake’s new kicks that Jordan Brand will be releasing soon. We found a letter and video from Marvin discussing his plans.
Watch out Blake!
Here is Marvin’s letter.
Greetings Earthlings,
I have reached my limit with you Earth creatures. For too long the people of Mars have stood by and put up with your anti-Martian activity. Your shuttles, and rovers have been driving us crazy!
My superiors have granted me permission to finally destroy the Earth by any means necessary. K-9 and I have searched the galaxy and heard about this Blake Griffin and his Super.Fly 4 machine that possesses the power to disintegrate your puny little planet.
Today, I am putting you Earthlings on notice. I am searching for this Blake Griffin fellow and when I find him I will use him to destroy the Earth. I will use the Jordan Super.Fly 4’s Earth-shattering powers to disint
egrate that rock you call home.
It is flattering that you Earthlings have been influenced by our greatness. The Jordan Super.Fly 4 machine’s colors are clearly inspired by the Martian way of life. While it warms my small Martian heart that you hold us in such high regard it will not sway me from my mission to destroy you!
Clearly, you have created this FlightSpeed tool to provide Blake Griffin with previously unmatched power. I demand that you hand over it and its Earth shattering explosive properties immediately, or feel the wrath of my Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator. If you inferior Earthlings do not comply I will come to Earth and take it from Blake Griffin myself.
My army of instant Martians has already been deployed to find Blake Griffin in a place called China; we will start there and make our way across your planet until we find him. When I find this Blake Griffin I will challenge him to what you Earthlings call a dunk contest…winner takes Earth.
I have also commandeered the Jordan.com machine to update you Earthlings on my progress and the search for Blake Griffin and the Jordan Super.Fly 4 machine.
Good luck. You’ll need it.
Marvin The Martian
The Jordan Super.Fly 4 will release for a suggested retail price of $150 in China on July 1, followed by a general global release on August 5. Stay tuned to @jumpman23 and Jordan.com for more information on the Jordan Super.Fly 4 and Marvin’s domination plan.
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| Print article | This entry was posted by Art Eddy III on June 30, 2015 at 6:42 am, and is filed under Lifestyle. Follow any responses to this post through RSS 2.0. Both comments and pings are currently closed. |
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